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When my husband and I parted, my view of divorce was simplistic.

Sitting in a stifling marquee, listening to my cousin Sally's husband making the traditional father-of-the-bride speech, I was overcome by a feeling that was part envy, part guilt and part regret.

It wasn't a decision made lightly, but I had no idea of the true complexity of unravelling a life that had been led in tandem with someone else for more than 20 years.

It was the death of my parents, within six months of each other in 2008, that was the catalyst for my change of heart.

At my father's funeral, my brother made a moving address about the formidable achievements of an extraordinary man.

He concluded that the greatest achievement of all was his remarkable partnership - over 60 years - with my mother.

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The fact that I had not been able to give my own children the security that I had taken for granted shamed and upset me almost as much as the loss of my adored parents.

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